Ps 103:2 ”Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.”
The therapist asked me to close my eyes and march on the spot while facing the same direction. I followed her instructions. When I opened my eyes, I was facing my right side and had moved about two meters across the room. She asked me if I was aware that I had not only changed directions but also moved from my original position. I told her I wasn’t aware of this. She explained to me that there was a disconnect between my hearing and my brain coordination. This is why I could not match on the spot without moving, she said.
In a span of less than six months, my visits to the ENT doctors had become frequent. This was one of the tests they were running to determine the problem with my ears. The therapist then handed me a detailed computer generated document that had diagrams and other graphs, told me there was no cure for my condition, except therapy. She recommended I quit coffee and also frequent the auditory clinic for therapy.
Six Months Before
My symptoms started one Saturday morning. There was buzzing in my ears, a slight headache and I felt a little dizzy. I had experienced this problem before. At that time, it was caused by regularly (almost all day) using ear phones. Apparently, the doctor had told me, our ear drums cannot handle all that sound too close to the ears. It damages the delicate hair cells and can even lead to loss of hearing. Fortunately, I was healed of that condition and after that, I rarely use ear phones.
Since I had not been using ear phones, I thought this time I had excess wax but the ENT doctor had pronounced my ears very clean. A few days after that weekend, I was sitting at my desk at work and I was hit with such a severe headache and dizziness. I thought I was going to pass out. My colleague drove me to hospital where they syringed my ears, just in case. The following day, I took the day off and stayed at home lying on the couch. In the afternoon, another wave of dizziness and pain hit the back of my head, all I could do was lay on the couch and wait for it to pass. I remember crawling on all fours to get to the kitchen because I was too weak to walk. I was miserable.
I resumed work when the dizziness eased, but I continued to experience painful headaches and buzzing in my ears. In one day, I would swallow about 10 Panadols. I then understood why people overdose on pain medication. When the pain came, all I wanted was relief. Overdosing was the least of my concerns. I just needed relief no matter how short-lived. One doctor put me on medication to improve blood circulation but this did not help my condition.
As we ushered in the new year 2016, the headaches and dizziness had gone away, but the buzzing in my ears remained. Occasionally, one of my ears would go completely deaf for a few minutes. I started sleeping with music on to distract me because sometimes the buzzing in my ears was so loud, it would keep me awake.
After my visit to the best auditory center here in the country, the specialist declared there was no cure, and I got desperate for healing. I had never been a fan of healing preachers or miraculous healings. I never had a reason to be bothered but now I was desperate. I went online and searched for every book and message I could find on healing and what God’s Word says about healing. As I did my research, one thing became clear, everyone that came to Jesus got healed. There is no record in scripture that there is someone who was brought to Jesus for healing, and the Lord turned them away. I also saw that God anointed Jesus of Nazareth who went about doing good, and healing all those who were afflicted by the devil, because God was with him (Acts 10:38). I saw in Psalms that He not only forgives my sins, but He heals all my diseases (Psalms 103:3). The Bible says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing the Word of God. I was convinced that the Lord could heal me. I pleaded with Him to heal me. My prayers went something like:
“Lord, everyone who came to you for healing, you healed. This is my simple understanding, that you are the same yesterday today and forever. If there is a different revelation, you show me, but what I see from scripture is that you heal. Heal me.”
I was desperate because living with this problem was very hard for my life, and for my work. When you are desperate, then you will do whatever it takes. I kept reading, meditating and confessing scriptures on healing. This went on for about six months. One night around June 2016, I had a dream that I got healed. After that dream, all my symptoms disappeared, and have never returned. My God healed me.
P.s. My intent on this post is not to create or engage in a theology of why people don’t get healed. I honestly don’t know, and there are people who have already done justice to that discussion. I am just telling you what God did for me, and how I applied what I believe. My aim is to glorify the God who healed me.
Here are the resources that helped me when I was going through my trial:
Psalms 103:3 He forgives all your iniquity; he heals all your diseases. Bless the Lord, o my soul.