So the prophetic word did not come to pass – it is seven days to the end of the year, and you are not married. You are full of questions; maybe a little bitter towards the Lord. I know, because I was there, year after year.
For almost eight years, each year was “the year”. However, each Christmas found me at my parents’ house, and without a significant other. Each year, I hoped that I would meet the right person. Every New Year’s eve, I faithfully attended a kesha, and prayed for God to give me a spouse. As the years went by, the more I got frustrated and sad. Although I always had family and friends, there is something about the end of the year that makes us wonder- what happened? Why didn’t God come through?
I don’t have easy answers but I want you to know several things.
1. It’s okay to admit that it hurts and that you are disappointed. God can handle the hurt and the disappointment. Take it to him. Talk to Him about how you are feeling and the disappointment you feel.
2. Stay with the Lord. Some people allow themselves to get into toxic unhealthy relationships during this season because they feel God has been unfair, so there is no need to be faithful. Be faithful to the Lord, He is worthy of your trust. Some people we allow in our lives drag us from God’s purposes. By the time you come back on track, you will have wasted time and complicated your life further.
3. As the year comes to an end, some people will receive prophetic words that this is the year. I encourage you to test everything, and find out for yourself what the Lord has in store for you in 2020. It may be the year, but it may not be the year. Either way, God has purposes and blessings for you planned for 2020. Pursue those and allow God to do what only He can.
Christmas 2017 was different. Around July 2017 as I turned 37, the Lord healed my disappointed heart. He opened my eyes to see that life is so much more than marriage. That He, the Lord, not marriage is the one who ultimately fills the soul. My prayers changed from “Give me as spouse” to “Help me understand how you want me to spend this season” “Satisfy my heart more than marriage ever will”. God was faithful. He did the impossible for me – He gave me joy without a spouse.
On Christmas day 2017, instead of looking inward at how disappointed I was again, I spent the afternoon at a children’s home. My Mom and I visited relatives during the holiday season. I relaxed and enjoyed myself. For once, my heart was full because of the Lord.
When 2018 began, I was open to what the Lord wanted me to do. It did not have to be “the year”. As it turns out, it was the year. As the year started, I volunteered to serve in a newly launched singles ministry at the church. One day, several months later, a tall dark handsome man from a different church was invited for one of our hangouts. We struck up a conversation, but I did not expect much from it. As we got to know each other, I discovered that He too was pursuing the Lord and His purposes, more than He was hoping to get married. That meant everything to me, because I knew his priorities were in order. About a year later, that God-pursuing man became my husband.
Looking back, I would have spent less time focusing on what I did not have and focusing on what I have. I would have spent less time wondering where my husband was because at the right time and without my help, God brought Him. I am grateful for marriage and my husband, but the pursuit of God and purpose does not end once you are married. Neither does a spouse replace the need for a Saviour.
To the unmarried hurting person this Christmas, I pray that the Lord would comfort you. I pray that He would open your eyes to the blessings that already surround you. But I also pray that He would satisfy you and bring you joy like only He can. He is the hope of both the married, and the unmarried.
Luke 2:10-11 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.