The young lady swallowed hard and looked at the mass of tangled hair now on her comb. She run the comb again through her hair which pulled out an even bigger mass of weak broken hair. She purposed not to cry. She had just removed her box braids. When she had them done three weeks before, they were beautiful and elicited a lot of compliments. But now, after taking them out with all the care she knew, the results were weak broken hair. She had braided her hair before, so she did not understand why it was now breaking. But then, everything in her life seemed to be breaking. Her heart. Her life. Her relationships. And now her hair.
A few hours later, she stared at her new look once the kind hairdresser had evenly trimmed her hair. In place of her shoulder length hair was now short cropped hair that could not even be held in a bun. She knew she was still beautiful to Jesus – but her concern was – I’m I still beautiful to the world?
Who defines you?
Ps 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
God in His mercy began to reveal to her how she had allowed the world’s definition of beauty to define her. Yet, only the Lord who made her can define her. By accepting other people’s and Satan’s lies about our looks, we take up a false identity. This damages our esteem and emotions. Since people did not make you, they cannot give you your proper identity. They do not even have the capacity. Only your Creator who made you can give you your true identity and since you are His creation, then you are perfect as you are.
What Makes Me Beautiful?
Is it my hair? My figure? My eyes? My smile? My clothes? My charm?
All those may enhance how I look, but those can be shaken. Hair breaks. Figures change. Smiles can get crooked. Clothes go out of fashion. But if I accept as true what God calls beautiful, then I am Forever Beautiful.
- I am beautiful because I pursue a gentle and quiet spirit, precious in the sight of my Lord (1 Peter 3:4)
- I am beautiful because I fear the Lord (Proverbs 31:30)
- I am beautiful because the Lord endows me with His beauty, both inside and outer beauty (Isaiah 62:3)
We do not need to conform to this world’s or anybody’s definition of beauty. It is not wrong to pursue physical beauty, but it should be preceded by beauty of the heart. I often pray for a man who would see my heart not merely my outer appearance. I often ask the Lord to give me eyes to look on the inside, because God looks at the heart not merely outward appearances.
A few months later as I shared with a friend my struggles in this area – Is my hair in place? Does my nose shine? She said to me: “Es, with a godly man, you don’t need to be perfect,” she gently pointed me to the truth. I will never forget her words. A godly man will definitely want someone He finds attractive, but beyond that, he will point you to God’s standard of beauty. Hopefully, as a woman, you will also value His heart more than anything else in him.
Additionally, it is more important to find favor in the most important man, King Jesus. Like Queen Esther of the Persian empire, we His daughters may not find favor in the eyes of a worldly man in terms of physical beauty; but we found favor in the one who matters, the one who made me as I am, the one who delights in me, the one who shines His light and beauty on me and causes me to glow with His unmatched beauty. And you too my sister, have found favor with Him because you are His Creation. And that is all that matters.
“The King is enthralled by your beauty. Worship him, for he is your Lord” Psalm 45:11.